The Word's Eye View - Leaving the 60's

Twenty some years ago I visited an old high school friend who had moved out of state and had become a well respected child psychologist. It was refreshing to get “caught up” and to rehearse the “Richie Cunningham and Fonzie” days, but the thing that really captured my attention was not his success story. The doctor and his lovely wife were the parents of a five year old only child who was totally out of control. It didn’t take five minutes to determine who was really in charge of that household. It’s not that I hadn’t seen that scenario a thousand times before, but it was such a contradiction to his profession…or was it?

John Rosemond, a family psychologist who writes periodic newspaper columns, makes more sense than any shrink I have read in several blue moons. His primary thesis is that America took the wrong fork in the road back in the 60’s when we started listening to all the psychobabble concerning what he calls “Postmodern Psychological Parenting.” The most cursory survey of America’s youth clearly indicates that the Dr. Joyce Brothers type of advice has not benefited society. One of Rosemond’s principal gripes is the old baloney that “children need to be able to freely express their feelings.” He maintains that “the natural inclination of the child is anti-social, narcissistic.” He has the unmitigated gall to even suggest that children are tyrants by nature because they believe they deserve what they want and if given an inch, they will demand a mile. The good doctor has unearthed an ancient nugget of truth that should be dusted off and allowed to glitter in the sunlight of universal observation. Solomon said it this way, “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15) Millions of people regularly pray “our Father which art in heaven” but fail to acknowledge the Deity, whom they recognize as “Father,” knows more about parenting than anyone else. God has never given humanity a free pass on unacceptable behavior; consequently, a great deal of His Book stresses the necessity of curbing dangerous appetites. The Heavenly Father is not above utilizing force when necessary as indicated in Hebrews 12:6…”For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth.”

Prisons are filled with criminals who wouldn’t be there if responsible discipline had been consistently applied to their lives and occasionally, the posterior back end. Mike Hukabee said his father was a patriot---“He laid on the stripes and I saw the stars!” You could do worse than Mike, a former pastor, governor, presidential candidate and presently, a talk show host who embraces conservative values that made America a country where the entire world desired to immigrate.

The high self-esteem thing sends Rosemond off like a Roman candle. He says, “Mind you, we made this up. Absolutely, no empirical evidence obtained by scientific means, existed to support this claim. It just sounded good; therefore, it was easy to market.” His subsequent points are that people with high self-regard possess low regard for others. Instead of seeking opportunities to serve others, they seek to manipulate others. He contends that individuals with high self-esteem want to be served and paid attention to. Rosemond’s conclusion is that high self-esteem and humility do not coexist. A common sense question would be….who would you rather be married to or what kind of employer would you prefer to work for…a person who thinks very well of themselves or a humble personality? Humility and accomplishment are compatible. The Apostle Peter said, “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time.” (I Peter 5:6)

Shortly after the inauguration the TV cameras were focused on Mrs. Obama as she visited a class of school children. She told the approximately 25 students that they could all be President if they wanted. Certainly, intentions were good as she was undoubtedly attempting encouragement, but let’s quit lying to our kids. Do the math; if each one served a four year term beginning at the age of 40, the last one would be installed at 140. Multiply that by millions of other aspirants; you get the point. Not all children will play in the NBA or NFL or for Major League baseball. Not all will be famous singers or actors. Can’t we be honest and simply encourage them to work hard and do well at whatever their aptitude dictates?

Queen Elizabeth at nine years old went shopping with her grandmother Queen Mary in some of London’s most impressive stores. Crowds gathered outside waiting for a glimpse of the beloved princess. Young Elizabeth became very impatient with her grandmother. She urged, “Please hurry, Grandmother. I wish to go out and let those people see me.” Sorrowfully, Queen Mary led little Elizabeth to the store’s rear exit. They returned to Buckingham Palace another way.

“England loves your father and mother because they serve, not because they rule,” she was told. “Your loveliest crown is not made of gold and precious stones, but of humility.”